Our (in)Fertility Journey

TRIGGER WARNING: Infertility, Pregnancy Announcement

Welcome to my most personal post to date. I was a bit nervous to share our experience on such a public platform, but my fears were quickly overcome by the thought that someone out there might come across this post and not feel alone. Did you know that 10-15% of couples in the US have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant? That is why I decided to post this. For you. For us. 

IN THE BEGINNING

In the beginning, my husband and I agreed that children weren’t something that we really wanted. We’ve always enjoyed children, but we felt that financially and mentally, we weren’t ready. Neither of us grew up with a father figure at home, which created so much uncertainty for us when it came time to think about having a baby. There’s a reason why millennials are waiting to have children or choosing not to have them at all. We were a part of that statistic. Why? We questioned ourselves, what our parenting styles would be like, and being responsible for raising a tiny human was extremely scary. Yikes!

A SHIFT

Something changed for us two years ago. We had been working extremely hard to make smart investments to help us reach financial freedom. One day we looked around and thought, “Who are we leaving our legacy to?” We sat down and had a long conversation about having a baby. It was incredible to feel like we were on the same page, at the same time. Never in a million years did I think he would say he wanted children, and he felt the same way about me. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like it was meant to be.

We immediately started “trying.” I say it that way because all we did was stop using protection. We thought that would be enough to get us pregnant. (We laugh at ourselves now.) Later that year, I mentioned to my OB at my annual exam about trying to get pregnant. He recommended that I track my cycle using an app. I did that, and a year later nothing had changed. That summer, I sat down and told my husband we needed to see a specialist. I had no idea where to even start looking for one. So, I reached out to a close friend who had gotten pregnant after seeing her fertility doctor.

FIRST VISIT

I was extremely nervous during that first meeting, but I was also very excited because I finally felt like I was being proactive about our journey. One thing that always stood out to me about this fertility doctor was his sense of urgency from the very beginning. He was determined to get me pregnant. It was such a shift from how my OB had reacted to my news about wanting to start trying. He immediately ordered blood work, did an ultrasound, and even checked my fallopian tubes. Right away, there were two things that stood out to him. One, I had PCOS (something I already knew) and two, he noticed Endometriosis scaring in the right side of my uterus and ovary. He turned to me and said, “Having PCOS and Endometriosis can affect your chances of getting pregnant, but that is why treatments exist. Are you ready to start today?” I couldn’t have said “yes” any faster!

DIAGNOSIS

After getting the results of my blood work and looking over my chart, he decided to track two hormones: estrogen and progesterone. It turns out my body was producing a lot of estrogen and almost zero progesterone. In case you didn’t know, your body needs to produce progesterone every month, as this triggers your body to naturally ovulate. Apparently, my body wasn’t ovulating, regardless of how regular my periods were – and they were. Therefore, not producing progesterone and not ovulating were the root of my infertility. But why wasn’t my body producing this hormone in the first place? My doctor told me he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but it was very likely because of my PCOS and Endometriosis.

TREATMENT

Afterwards, he sat me down to explain what treatment plan he recommended for us. It was a combination of oral medication and injectables. Yes, this meant that my husband would need to inject me a few times a month. Our treatment was not IVF. With the exception of having to inject my body and the occasional ultrasounds, it wasn’t invasive at all. Our monthly treatment was followed by timed intercourse at home.

I have to note that our fertility doctor also checked my husband’s sperm count prior to starting any form of treatment to ensure there wouldn’t be any other complications or roadblocks along the way. Therefore, if you are seeking treatment, please ensure your partner gets tested, as well. 

TREATMENT BREAKDOWN

My treatment always started right after my period ended. I would take one pill a day for five days. My husband would then inject me once a day for four consecutive days after that. Then, I would visit my doctor and he would check my ovaries via ultrasound. He would confirm whether or not my body had produced follicles. Typically inside each follicle there’s an egg, which is what you want because it means your body will potentially release the eggs when you ovulate, followed by timed intercourse, and the sperm will hopefully swim to the egg. I know that sounds very graphic, but that’s basically how one gets pregnant!

Once he confirmed the number and size of each follicle, he would instruct me to take one final injection: the trigger shot. This is the shot that will trigger my body to ovulate – again, something my body wasn’t doing on its own. Afterwards, we needed to time our intercourse at home. Then, it came time to wait. We’d have to wait two weeks to take a pregnancy test to see if the treatment had worked. If it didn’t, we would have to do the same round of treatment all over again the following month.

Note: The pills and injections prescribed to me were to ensure my body would produce the one hormone I was not producing: progesterone. After completing the treatment, my doctor ordered blood work to ensure my body produced the hormone AND to confirm I had ovulated.

TREATMENT COST

The cost breakdown listed here is per round/month. The oral pills were partially covered by my insurance and totaled less than $20 (it was only five pills). The injections were almost $300 each, which totaled $1,200. The trigger shot was approximately $200. Also, the injectables were NOT covered by my insurance, that was our out-of-pocket expense. However, the biggest cost was the doctor’s fee: $1,575. In total, we had to pay approximately $3,000 per month for ONE chance at getting pregnant.

EXPECTATIONS

After our first round/month of treatment, my husband and I were so emotionally exhausted but excited to see if it had worked. While we waited for the results, we sat down and made a plan for what we would do in case it didn’t work. I’m so glad we did that! It really kept things in perspective, and we had an action plan for the immediate future! We had decided that we would give this treatment three rounds/months before moving on to IVF.

RESULTS

Typically the wait time is two weeks before the doctor says you can take a pregnancy test at home, then he schedules you for blood work to confirm it. After completing my first round, around day 11 (not quite 14 days), I started feeling premenstrual cramps. I knew in my heart that the treatment hadn’t worked, even though my body had produced two pretty big follicles and a good amount of progesterone. Two days later, I got my period. I felt so let down. It’s a feeling I don’t wish on anyone. But rather than sit there and try to overanalyze what we could’ve done differently, we decided to take it as a learning experience and get ready for the second round that would start up again in just a few weeks.

For the second round/month, we did the exact same thing. Except this time the ultrasound showed that my body had produced three big follicles (versus two the previous month) and my progesterone levels were through the roof! This was good news, I remember my doctor and his nurse telling me. Still, I tried not to get too excited. I didn’t want to feel let down again. We went home and waited for two weeks to take a pregnancy test.

Around day 10 (again not quite the 14 days), I let impatience get the best of me and decided to take a pregnancy test. I took it because my body was telling me something about this round was different. I didn’t have any premenstrual cramps and didn’t have a pimple breakout – two things I always get right before each period. The pregnancy test was positive. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately showed my husband and we both smiled and cried. We didn’t say anything to each other besides, “Let’s wait for the blood work to come back.” At 14 days, I went in for the blood work and it also confirmed it: We were pregnant!

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

Over the next two weeks, I went in for blood work every other day to ensure my pregnancy hormone (HCG) was doubling, this meant my pregnancy was progressing. It was. Around four weeks, we went for our first pregnancy ultrasound and we were able to see the yolk sac. The doctor wanted to confirm it was in a good location to continue to grow – it was! Then around 8-9 weeks, we were able to hear the heart beat for the first time. We actually recorded the moment because we wanted to keep that memory with us forever.

At 12 weeks, we told our families. Because we opted to get prenatal genetic screening, we knew at 10 weeks that it was a girl. We told our families right away because we weren’t interested in any form of gender reveal celebration. Our celebration was that we were pregnant!

Here’s our social media pregnancy announcement at 24 weeks.

WHERE ARE WE NOW?

Currently we’re 34+ weeks pregnant. Our baby is due in mid-June 2021. Another reason why I waited so long to post this was because I was so afraid that I would somehow jinx myself by talking about our journey prematurely. Though this pregnancy was an easy one for me, in terms of symptoms, mentally it was very exhausting. Every minor pain or discomfort I experienced, I immediately thought something was wrong with the baby. It wasn’t easy in that sense, but I’m so thankful to be where I’m at right now! Am I still nervous that something could go wrong between now and during the delivery? Of course. I think any expectant mother feels that way. Still, I’m choosing to focus on celebrating where we are now – soon to be parents.

TIPS

Though I don’t consider myself an expert nor am I a doctor to give you medical advice regarding your journey, here are some things I highly recommend you consider if you’re thinking about starting treatment:

• Write down your cycle dates, symptoms, etc. – it’s so important to know when and how long your periods are
• Remind yourself that hormonal imbalances are very common – there is no shame in having them
• Don’t expect to get pregnant simply by having unprotected intercourse – sometimes our bodies need science
• Seek treatment sooner than later – it can take someone months or even years to conceive
• Be careful with doctors who are only interested in making money – IVF is a great option but it shouldn’t be the first/only option, especially without attempting to diagnose your infertility first. My doctor took the time to get to know my body, and he was able to pinpoint how to treat me. Sure, IVF might’ve worked for us, but we only paid $6,000 (after 2 rounds) instead of paying $20,000 (the average cost of one round of IVF)
• Make sure your partner’s sperm count also gets tested – our doctor told us that men account for 20% of infertility cases
• Do your research when it comes to choosing your fertility doctor – does it feel wrong? Trust your gut.
• Make the best decision for YOUR family – at the end of the day, it’s your body. If IVF is what you want to do first, then do it!

If you made it this far, wow! Thank you for investing your time in reading and learning about our journey. Thinking of you and wishing you the best as you navigate your journey to growing your family.

Leave your questions in the comments.

XO,