What is Imposter Syndrome (IS)? It’s when a person feels inadequate even though they are experiencing some form of success. It’s constantly doubting themselves, being unable to recognize their own accomplishments, and feeling like someone is going to recognize that they’re an “imposter.” I learned recently that 70 percent of the US population has experienced Imposter Syndrome at some point. Some people never even realize they have it. I know this because that’s what was happening to me.
I SUFFER(ED) FROM IMPOSTER SYNDROME
I’ve been in education for 10 years, and I consider myself to be a successful educator, coach and entrepreneur. Yet over the last two years, I’ve struggled with an enormous amount of self-doubt. Am I really an expert in bilingual education and in writing? Did I really help my school go from a D to an A rating? These questions constantly clouded my mind and yes, I often downplayed my success by saying it was just dumb luck. After realizing I was suffering from Imposter Syndrome, I started giving myself the credit for who I am today.
The experiences and knowledge I’ve acquired over the past 10 years as an educator aren’t because I’m a lucky person. I’ve worked extremely hard to get to where I’m at in my career. I also know A LOT. No, I don’t consider myself an expert in many things, but I know what I’m talking about when it comes to literacy. I have enough value to hold space in the bilingual education world. Does that sound cocky? If it does, I don’t care because I know my worth. You see, these are things I have to keep telling myself when I look in the mirror because managing IS is no joke!
If what I just described feels like what you’re feeling about yourself, then keep reading because I’m sharing the process I took to get a handle on my thoughts.
1 KNOW THYSELF
First, you must recognize that what you’re feeling is IS. I know, I know. This is hard because when I hear the word imposter I get super defensive. “I’m not a fake!” I tell myself. Again, focus on the definition of what this symptom means. You’re not a bad person for feeling this way about yourself. Also, it doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem. I think it’s a lack of confidence more than anything else. But why do we feel this way? Well, for me, I started recognizing certain things in my life that caused me to have feelings of inadequacy. I call these things triggers.
Things that might trigger IS for bilingual educators:
THE EDUCATION SYSTEM: As bilingual educators, don’t we often feel forgotten? There’s always a wide variety of resources in English, but what about in Spanish? Or how about the fact that they put all the bilingual classes in the portable buildings? Or how they constantly compare our students to those who are not learning two languages? Or how the performance of our students needs to match some unrealistic expectation?
SOCIAL MEDIA: Raise your hand if you want a perfectly, photogenic classroom. Is there another bilingual educator out there that’s killing it? Is someone else getting more likes or followers than you? These are all poisonous things that social media has introduced into our daily lives. Don’t get me wrong, I love using social media but it’s sometimes very difficult to navigate.
COWORKERS: Do you have a good mentor? Do you feel supported by your team? How often do you collaborate with someone? Believe it or not, these things matter. If you’re constantly coming up with good ideas but your team is never on board, then it’s going to affect how you see yourself even when your ideas are showing student growth. I say, If you have a good idea for a classroom activity, then do it anyway!
SYSTEMIC OPPRESSION: I’ll just come right out and say it. Yes, bilingual/dual language education is sometimes attacked, judged, misunderstood and/or taken over by a group that it wasn’t intended for in the first place. Facts. On a more personal side, my identity is sometimes othered by society. Immigrants and children of immigrants are constantly being told that they’re not welcome here. My culture is a costume and my language is dispensable. ALL OF THESE THINGS can trigger negative feelings about yourself. They do for me.
So to truly know thyself, pay attention to when your feelings of self-doubt start to take over. The things I listed here might not be what triggers it for you, but pay attention to what does.
2 IDENTIFY WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT
Once you’ve completed step 1, write down 10 things you’re really good at. They don’t all have to be teaching related, by the way. Be sure to use language that pumps you up and shows your personality. For example, if you feel like you’re great at read alouds, write down that your read alouds are the bomb.com. Let me share two items on on my list:
- My small groups lessons are LIT!
- My baking skills are the bomb!
I would then suggest that you type them up, print them, and hang them near your desk. Read them on days you feel like IS has taken over your life. Think of this list as a gift to your future self.
Side note: If you’re anything like me, you’ll struggle with coming up with 10 things. “Ten is a lot,” I told myself. Yes, it makes me sad to think that we are so used to shrinking what makes us beautiful and unique. But also, it makes me hopeful because completing this activity made me realize that I needed to shift the way I was thinking about myself.
3 TAKE ACTION TO SHIFT YOUR THINKING
This one’s hard! It will take conscious and repeated practice. Are there triggers on your list that can be avoided or remedied? Some are beyond our control, such as systemic oppression. Yes, we can actively work to become more aware and call out racism, but we can’t stop people from viewing us a certain way. Some people will always be racist. But, how about coworkers? Can we avoid hanging out with the ones who make us feel like we are less than? Probably. If we feel like we are not good teachers because we don’t know a lot, can we remedy this? Yea, probably. I urge you to think about what things you CAN control and take action.
I was the kind of teacher that would always say things like, “I’m not a good bilingual teacher” or “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Then one day I decided to do something about it. I started shadowing teachers, observing lessons, attending PD sessions, and reading books on bilingual education. Long story short, years later I became a mentor and people started coming to observe me. Me?! Yes! Taking action my first and second year of teaching saved my career and sanity. I was no longer telling myself I didn’t know what I was doing.
Here are some examples of the things I often hear teachers say in either real life or in a DM on Instagram. Try to change how you talk about yourself. Like this…
- I don’t know if I’m teaching my students well enough – I know I’m trying my best to teach my students everything they need
- I’m not an expert in bilingual education – I know a lot about bilingual education and I will continue to educate myself on the topic
- I’m not as good as… – I know what I have to offer is beautiful and unique and I will not compare myself to someone else
- I’m just lucky – I’ve worked hard for this
Some of these insecurities can be addressed simply by taking action. Some will be more difficult, if not impossible, to overcome. Please understand that overcoming Imposter Syndrome is a process, a journey, not a destination. For many of us, myself included, it will be a lifelong journey. I’m OK with that! I know that the way I think about myself in 2019 is healthier than how I was feeling about myself in 2017 and 2018. Internal and external factors will always be there to bring us down, don’t let them win. I know, it’s easier said than done.
For those of you who are reading this, I want you to know that I see you! I understand you! And you’re not alone. More importantly, you deserve whatever success comes your way because you’ve earned it. Yes, you deserve to be here.
Get ready 2020 because we’re coming for you!
Want to hear more? Check out my FREE podcast episode that also discusses Imposter Syndrome here!